Happy Monday! I hope you are all having a lovely day. I enjoyed a fabulous weekend, including a small wine and cheese get together with some awesome friends. Good food and conversation is always a good time.
The Unruly Rib
No warnings today
Expelled to the harsh wild earth was the first time I felt at home. The tall jagged mountains piercing the skyline, the wind strong against my back. My lungs full for the first time, reassured by this wild open space.
“Eve? Are you even listening to me??” Adam yelled, jarring me from this new world.
I turn to him. He seemed so petty, so small. “What?”
“If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be –”
“Last time I checked you ate willingly.”
“And you were always sighing, always disgruntled, always dissatisfied. You couldn’t be happy with what we had.
“Yes!!” I screamed, “I was miserable and all you did was tell me I was crazy. You didn’t listen, you just tried to make it go away. Food, sleep, even sex. Eden bored me. So I took an opportunity. I made my choice, and I will live with it. Grow up and learn to live with yours.”
He looked at me disgusted, “We had everything. What more could you have wanted?”
“Freedom” I whispered, finally stumbling upon my truth.
“Enjoy it” he said bitterly, “Because we can’t go back.”
How much blame would I have to take for his actions?
“I started this.” I admitted, “I’ll accept that. You asked what it was. I was honest and open. You took the fruit from me and brought it to your own lips. You are the reason you are not Eden, not me, not the snake. You. I won’t stand her to carry the blame for all of your fucking actions.”
So I walked onward towards the jagged mountains. He didn’t follow. Lying under the stars, I found the word lonely, curved on my tongue like the sickle moon.
Life in the wilderness was not easy. My feet ached from walking. My shoulders were sore from carrying the deer to eat and make my clothes. Still each bruise and ache reminded me of what I had achieved. I knew how small I was in the world. Yet I felt grounded from that same knowing.
Fruit tasted sweeter found on a rare bush. I learned that I love the taste of rabbit, but hate dove. My feet followed the Tigris, and her flow southward. Tasting her cool water was a blessing after a long day’s walk.
The wild earth spoke to me. Through trial and error I made my own way. I held no dominion, no special status. Strength and wit earned me a place in the wild order of creation. Through survivaI found worthiness. With each day’s work my heart sung.
But the moon whispered complications. When once my blood came regularly with her full face, it now had stopped. My breasts became tender to touch. A new generation is coming the wind whispered. Life was beginning again. Not by God’s hand, but through me. Through Adam.
Adam who used to smile at me, as though I were the whole world. When he kissed me, I forgot that something still felt wrong. He was my other half. I felt a raw and deep ache without him.
I couldn’t sleep now. I would lay awake, staring up at the stars. Though I was content with my labors, it wasn’t complete. Life made less sense alone.
Perhaps he would never want me again. So be it. But, he deserved this choice. To know his child and choose his future. And so did I.
So I rose with the sun, nervous but certain in my decision. I set my feet to follow the pull of my oldest rib. I prayed it would be enough to find him again.